Light of a Dark Black Night
by Morbane
Summary: Shadowgleam, Shining Raichu, is a highly trained, battle ready champion. Why has she been abandoned in the wilderness? Etc. Also a fic for LightningStrike.
1. Exile

Disclaimer: Pokémon is copyrighted by Nintendo, Game Freak, Warner Bros, and Wizards of the Coast. I in no way claim rights to Pokémon; this fic is a non-money-making venture for free distribution on the Web. 

Dedication: This fic is for Lightning-Strike. Lightning-Strike is a talented, cool author here, whose user id is 141533. This is her Christmas fic, especially for her! ^!^ Merry Christmas, L-S!

****

Light of a Dark Black Night

__

Blackbird singing in the dead of night  
Take these broken wings and learn to fly  
All your life,  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.  
Blackbird singing in the dead of night  
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see  
All your life,  
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.  
Blackbird, fly  
Blackbird, fly  
Into the light of a dark black night!

-'Blackbird', The Beatles

1: Exile

Shadowgleam released herself from her Pokéball to find herself alone, on a grassy, shaded slope, below a road, as if the Ball had been flung there.

She had been asleep. It felt like it had been for a long time. The last thing she remembered was the healing matrix of Mahogany's Pokémon Centre's rejuvenator, restoring her through the patterns of her Pokéball. 

Carefully, the Raichu sniffed the air.

What puzzled her was that she didn't scent her trainer.

She smelled nothing, actually. Nothing but these woods. And the Pokéball, of course, which faintly held Gavin's smell. His had been the last hand on her Pokéball. That made sense. 

She listened. After a while, a car went past on the road. It went off into the distance without seeming to change direction much, or slow down, or stop. 

Nothing. No human landmarks. Leaving her ball where it was, she climbed up the slope to the road and checked; she could still see nothing. Now that the car had gone, everything was quiet. She heard Spearow, and a breeze in the trees. She heard her own breathing, steady and deep as it should be. 

She went back down to her Pokéball, trying to figure out how it had got there. The grass wasn't the kind to leave indents - it was thick and very springy. So the absence of footprints didn't tell her anything. There were no scents, and that did. 

Flung? That was the first thing she'd thought of. Surely she'd have woken up if her Ball was violently tossed around? Or _would_ she have? She was a light sleeper - when she was out of the Ball. 

__

My ball could have come here by accident, she reasoned. Out of the back of a bus - or a van - maybe something had happened to Gavin, her trainer...

__

If he's okay, he'll be looking for me! Of course.

__

Gavin, she thought 'loudly'. 

__

Gavin!

Her trainer was psychic. Only slightly - in a way that had made him the kind of person who fades into the background whenever he can. He could 'hear' when people were thinking about him - if not their actual thoughts. Through his whole life, it had been like an itch in his brain - impossible to understand, control, or even, sometimes, to endure.

But this 'ability' had sometimes been useful in training. Gavin could locate Shadowgleam and her team members at all times.

__

Here I am, Gavin!

He might be in danger, however. Shadowgleam didn't want to distract him. Perhaps she wasn't the only team member who had inexplicably found him or herself in the middle of nowhere. So she would keep up a steady stream of Gavin-related thoughts. Nice ones. Apparently he found those ones easier to deal with.

At one point, Gavin had taken lessons which had increased his ability to identify _who_ was thinking of him, and what their mood was. But he'd stopped the lessons, because, despite the instructor's best efforts, the strength of Gavin's awareness had grown faster than his control.

Gavin's Raichu tried to picture him now, in a family-photo type of scene. First there would be Gavin. He hardly needed glasses, but wore them because they hid his eyes, which were icy blue. Most of Gavin's appearance was calibrated this way, and almost everything you saw about him was done in an attempt to make him less eye-catching, more forgettable. 

The glasses had dark, thin frames. They fit snugly on his nose and didn't slip down it. His hair was a kind of generic browny-blond, a colour that had a human name, which Shadowgleam couldn't remember. The look on his face that Shadowgleam could picture best was a wary, unfocussed, listening look, when he had his eyes narrowed and his shoulders hunched, but he practised a calm, casual expression. 

His height had always seemed normal to Shadowgleam, who, out of curiousity for his quest to be nondescript, often compared him to other humans. He wore clothes of brown, dark green, black - nothing with a specific label or specific type. The more labels people can put on you, he'd explained, the more they can identify you, and the longer they will remember you. His backpack was black, his tent was olive green, his Pokéballs were red and white, and if he got a Great or Ultra ball, he painted it. 

Drawing a good mental picture of Gavin was the best way to gently let him know he was on her mind. Shadowgleam added herself to the picture.

Mentally and physically, she placed herself in battle stance. Her tail curved down, lightly touching the ground, and turned up again so that its sharp-edged axe-like tip pointed over her right shoulder.

Absentmindedly, she allowed a few sparks to play over her cheeks, and then, in annoyance, flipped her tail-tip down to the ground to get rid of them. Perhaps battle stance wasn't the best idea.

Gavin made himself look as 'normal' as possible. It would have taken impossible effort to make Shadowgleam blend in. She was six inches taller than the average Raichu. Her proportions were right, but her colour was wrong, dusky all over - her stomach fur pale grey-brown, her stripes nearly black, her body darkly tinted. Perhaps her colour helped explain why she knew two Dark-type attacks - and perhaps her colour made it less unusual that she had been able to use an Ice TM. (Icy Wind). 

The sparks had died. Uneasily, she stood there, staring at her Pokéball. Her home for two years.

She didn't want to stand there and stare at it. She moved away restlessly, heading down the slope as the first move to scope out the area. The Pokéball remained; it was a landmark. Having a place to come back to would help to keep her from getting lost. Besides, Gavin might return.

Where was he? Where was she? She walked downwards, moving in as straight a line as she could.

She heard a stream just before she smelt something familiar - Pokéchow.

__

You're here! she thought, the excited thought escaping from her mind.

She bounded around a tree and found a small package on the waterside. It held Gavin's scent and the scent of her normal food. A _lot_ of that kind of food. 

That wasn't normal at all. 

Suddenly, her mind leapt. Shadowgleam ran to the crude picture diagrams scibbled by his hand, and tore them up in outrage as she confirmed what she had thought. She almost blasted the food into the water, but turned back and headed for a better target.

No clues. He'd obviously worked hard to give her none. There'd be no use following a trail. And she didn't care if there _was_ a trail - she'd _never_ be one of those dependents who followed their trainers after…

after they'd been abandoned.

__

Gavin!! She mentally screamed. _Gavin! Gavin! Gavin! Wherever you are, you're going to hear me! I'll make sure of that! _She doubled the intensity of her mental pictures. Here was an envisioned snapshot of the first time she'd shocked him. Here was a video clip of their meeting, altered so that instead of tilting her head to her side and chirping at him in her favourite way, she whipped her Pikachu tail forward to leave a blood-dripping cut on his hand. 

She reached her target - the Pokéball - and charged up to blitz it. Thundershock after Thundershock she released, not bothering to charge up for a more powerful attack, just weakening herself with shock after shock, as its paint melted, as its internal components were ruined, until finally it exploded. Shadowgleam fought her instincts and refused to duck the flying pieces. By pure foolish luck they missed her. 

__

You can't touch me, Gavin. Never, never any more.

She came back to herself slowly.

The ghost of an afternoon moon, barely gibbous, was setting, and evening was coming. Her cheek sacs felt drained - they felt as if they were channels through which her energy was rushing out of her…

Shadowgleam snapped out of it.

Then she began her walk.

It was like a march, or a pilgrimage. She went by the stream, tail held high and still, gathered up the supplies that Gavin had left for for her, and marched away.

As night fell, her marching turned to wandering. She left the stream and found it again - or perhaps it was a different one, but she couldn't tell. She swept her tail in front of her, and that helped a little to keep her from tripping in the dark. When she did trip, she got up immediately after.

She tried using sparks for light, but they etched their movements into her eyes, their negatives dancing across her vision until she could hardly tell if she was emitting electricity or not. Tiredness was exhaustion, except that the right word didn't matter. Once, the awesomeness of the stars almost woke her from her daze, but this numbness was too strong to allow her to react to their clarity and beauty.

False dawn came and she pushed herself on like a runner on the last lap of a race. True dawn came, and with it, Shadowgleam slept. 

Updates shall come quickly. :) 


	2. Touchwood

Disclaimer: Pokémon is copyrighted by Nintendo, Game Freak, Warner Bros, and Wizards of the Coast. I in no way claim rights to Pokémon; this fic is a non-money-making venture for free distribution on the Web. 

Dedication: This fic is for Lightning-Strike. Lightning-Strike is a talented, cool author here, whose user id is 141533. This is her Christmas fic, especially for her! ^!^ Merry Christmas, L-S!

A/N: All Pokémon speech is translated, unless otherwise indicated. Review thank-yous at the end of the chapter.

****

Light of a Dark Black Night

2: Touchwood

Shadowgleam woke, finding herself facedown in unfamiliar grass. It was a different kind of grass - tough and a bit itchy. Getting up, she pulled at it experimentally - the strand she had grabbed was connected to several others, branching out under the top layer.

Her cheek sacs were fine. They'd replenished themselves - as they always did, quickly. She was in fine condition except that her feet and her tail muscles were a little sore. She'd punished both. 

She went to climb a tree - they were shorter here. Fir trees, mostly. Evergreens. She was still in Northern Johto, and the view from the top of the tree didn't give her any more detail. She was in a small valley. The stream wasn't far away. It gathered itself into a pool, a little further down. She went there, carrying her food supplies, to drink and swim.

The sun was high above. Shadowgleam lay on her back in the eddying water and watched the sky. 

Her food might last her a week, but if she didn't rely on it completely, it should last longer… The smart thing to do would be to start foraging now, and practise, so that by the time the Pokéchow ran out, she could do without it. 

It was breezy, and it was a beautiful day.

She liked this spot, but she didn't want to stay there - not really! She didn't want to make a home anywhere - for now, she wanted to stay on the move. 

So - _Which way now?_

She got out of the water and aligned herself. Another benefit of the powers of electricity - for a Raichu, magnetic North and South were tangible. 

Which way now, then?

The voice of a human, coming from - almost exactly - the south west - decided her before she knew she was running, running to meet whomever it was.

As if it was a single frame in a movie reel - zipping by, invisibly, but causing a slight discontinuity - Gavin's face flashed before her. And she didn't realise it.

v v v 

She saw the trainer's opponents first. 

A Sentret and a Furret stood on one side of the battle, and a Granbull on the other. The trainer, a person with spiky peach hair, stepped forward and pointed. She was trying to get around the Furret to attack the Sentret, but so far she wasn't succeeding, and the Sentret had enough health remaining to block a Pokéball. 

"Return Mastiff!" the girl growled. "Go Primeape!" 

Smart opponent, going for the type advantage… Most trainers didn't apply challenge rules to wild-Pokémon fights, but that didn't _mean_ it was _fair_ - two against one, since the Sentret was obviously not battling. 

"My turn!" announced Shadowgleam, both trainer and Furret looking up at her cry. She bounded into the clearing and unleashed a Thunderbolt on Primeape, which slowed him down - then she used Agility. That allowed her to take out the Fighting Pokémon with an _accurate_ Slam. 

"Who's next?" she snarled, back into Battlestance again. She glanced across at the Furret to exchange a wink, but he'd run away. 

… Fair enough. She tossed her head. So this would be _her_ battle.

The trainer girl stared at her for a moment, before tossing out a Pokédoll - a remarkably realistic Clefairy, along with synthesised scent, that emerged from a Pokéball with a suitable red flash. Shadowgleam saw the seams - and besides, it landed funny, in a way that would have given a normal Clefairy pain.

Shadowgleam looked up at the trainer, disappointed. She'd thought the trainer would give her a proper fight. She picked up the Clefairy-doll with a paw and tossed it back.

The trainer looked at her, irritated, picked up a rock and threw it, and turned to chase after the Sentret. _Hey!_

No! 

Shadowgleam was angry. Her battle-challenge spurned, she decided to take sides against this girl. It was only a stupid Sentret. Might even be an illegal capture, since Shadowgleam wasn't sure if the little Pokémon was up to Level Two. 

A Raichu was faster than a human any day. 

And she'd just used Agility, after all.

She leaned to the ground and ran.

v v v 

She'd thought of tripping up the trainer when she passed her, but didn't bother in the end. Thinking she was being attacked, the peach-haired girl released her Granbull, then recalled it again in confusion as Shadowgleam left her in the dust. 

__

Ha.

It took her no time at all to find the two fugitives. They were hidden in a rather obvious patch of bush. 

"Let's go," Shadowgleam hissed, scooping up the Sentret onto her shoulder - he was a bit of a weight but she'd trained with heavier ones, and he was only a baby - and signalling to the Furret. "Your territory - which is the best way?"

"Thanks." 

He took off, darting down a bank. Together, they went sideways and up and down and backtrailed… Shadowgleam wasn't good at this stuff, but she followed the Furret's lead. She watched closely. This was something she'd have to learn. 

Barely ten minutes later, they knew they'd lost their pursuers. Taking deep breaths, Shadowgleam lifted the Sentret off her shoulder.

"I'm Touchwood. He's Heartwood," the Furret - Touchwood - said, as Heartwood backed away from Shadowgleam into Touchwood's tail. 

"Thanks," said Touchwood again. "His mother would have banished me if I'd let this child get caught." He looked apologetically at her. "I'm sorry _you_ didn't get captured."

Shadowgleam stared at him. "Why would you be?"

"You acted as if you wanted to be." Touchwood pointed out.

"I was just looking for a challenge."

__

Pretty reckless, then, said the expression in Touchwood's eyes. 

She was annoyed again. _Watch this_, she thought, and launched into a routine of some of her more impressive acrobatics - ending by splitting a small tree in half, just by lightning, while still in midair. 

"Okay, okay," said Touchwood. "What level are you, anyway?"

"Thirty-eight."

The ends of his tail fluttered, autonomous of the wind. "You were trained."

Shadowgleam replied without thinking, "So were you."

Touchwood paused, his eyes whipping up to Shadowgleam's. Heartwood paused, looking anxious, sensing tension.

"Does it still show?" said Touchwood.

"No!" stammered Shadowgleam. "I guessed, in a way."

"Intuition," murmured Touchwood.

"It was a while ago," he added, "and I think I've settled into the wilderness." His tail stopped twitching, and drifted back to the ground.

"Well done," said Shadowgleam, more harshly than she'd meant to.

"And you?" said Touchwood. "When were you… let go?" Shadowgleam could see that he chose his words carefully - he must guess that she'd left her trainer recently.

"Yesterday," hissed Shadowgleam. She closed her eyes and briefly pictured one of Gavin's worst defeats in full colour.

She wasn't going to make it easy for him.

v v v 

Touchwood stared at her.

"Where?" he asked mildly.

"Where am I now?" retorted Shadowgleam. "I don't know."

"Ah," said Touchwood. He looked back at Heartwood and told the baby softly to go back to home. The Sentret scurried off.

"In what state are your food provisions?"

"They'll last me for a week. I'm starting to forage."

"You're a dark tone," he continued. "Do you know where you were captured from?"

"No. I was born in the wilderness, I believe; as a Pikachu, I remember living in some kind of human facility, and I was traded out to my trainer Gavin." In her mind, the name was a mental shriek. She wasn't going to let up on him.

"You're not actually that old…?"

"About five years."

She felt relieved that he was asking mostly practical questions. She couldn't think about, let alone answer, ones like 'why were you abandoned'. 

"I'll help you settle in," the Furret offered. 

"I don't want to settle!" Shadowgleam shouted. "_Rai ai-la!"_ That didn't mean anything in any language. It was just a cry. 

"You don't know what you want," Touchwood pressed. "That's all right. I can help you with that too."

"No -" 

"Raichu, you've got to go _somewhere!"_

"My name's Shadowgleam," Shadowgleam finally replied. "For the moment, I'm wandering."

She hesitated for a while, until Touchwood got impatient and his tail began to flick again.

"But if you want to wander, too, you can come with me."

Miss Black Dragon: Thank you! I'm glad you like it! I wonder if there's a clue in that irony… as to why Gavin released her? We shall see…

Pikacar/Marle: Thank you! No, Shadowgleam is pretty tough. She might get depressed, she might get vengeful ^^;; but no, she's not going to sink. Gavin, however…

EndoMike: Why, thank you very much. It's nice to be applauded. :) 


	3. Let's walk, let's talk

Disclaimer: Pokémon is copyrighted by Nintendo, Game Freak, Warner Bros, and Wizards of the Coast. I in no way claim rights to Pokémon; this fic is a non-money-making venture for free distribution on the Web. 

Dedication: This fic is for Lightning-Strike. Lightning-Strike is a talented, cool author here, whose user id is 141533. This is her Christmas fic, especially for her! ^!^ Merry Christmas, L-S!

A/N: All Pokémon speech is translated, unless otherwise indicated. Review thank-yous at the end of the chapter.

****

Light of a Dark Black Night

3: Let's walk, let's talk

It was all settled. Shadowgleam sat on a rock, wating for the Furret to come back from making arrangements with his tribe, so that they could be moving again.

Right now she was still, and her mind was wandering. Her thoughts washed like waves over that painful question, trying to erode it.

__

Why did he abandon me?

Abandonment was surely the right word. It had all been all so deliberate. The pictures, the extra food, placed carefully away from where she'd been left. She wondered if there had been some kind of reason, or even an apology, painstakingly printed in picture-language in those scribblings. But couldn't he have spoken the apology? He'd never abandoned a Pokémon before - as far as she knew.

They were opposites, she and Gavin. She was Shining, she was eye-catching; if he was any kind of light at all, it was a dim one, one that faded until you didn't realise it had gone out... But he wasn't depressed - he wouldn't do something rash?

They were different, but he couldn't have abandoned her because of that difference....

__

He loved_ that,_ thought Shadowgleam. _ He loved it that I was so bright and eye-catching and flamboyant when he couldn't be - I was free to be. I learned all those acrobatics because of him, and on the battlefield I was flashy, confident, aggressive - I did it _for_ him, not to remind him of what he couldn't have. And he knew it. And he wanted that. I was his surrogate._

What stopped him needing me?

Sometimes my colour and size drew attention to him, but more often, they looked at the Raichu and it stopped them seeing the boy - so I was a shield for attention - what did I do?

A sharp spike of anger was what she suddenly felt.

__

I did nothing wrong! 

A leaf drifted down from a tree. With a burst from one cheek, she incinerated it so that it never reached the ground - a fine stream of ash blew away on the wind. 

__

The last battle I fought for him, I won for him. I won a tournament in Mahogany. 

H_e must be dead,_ she thought, tail slipping off the rock where it was coiled, to the ground. _The Gavin I know might as well be dead - I might as well mourn him. What's left is someone else - a Gavin I don't know._

A Gavin who would abandon me.

v v v 

She was in this mood when Touchwood returned. She was staring into space, sparks bubbling over her tail, so Touchwood approached cautiously and from the front. 

"Hi - Shadowgleam?"

"Yeah?" - coming back to reality so fast that he wondered if she hadn't known he was there all along. 

"Where do you want to go?"

"I don't care. Let's get moving!"

Touchwood sighed and shrugged. He wondered what he'd let himself in for. 

Shadowgleam led him off to the southwest. She was heading even deeper into the wilderness. There were mountains where she was going. Touchwood suspected that if she saw them, she'd climb them because they were there.

He hadn't been like this when he'd been abandoned.

Of course, he'd seen it coming. He'd been fed so little that he'd battled pathetically, trying to save his energy, and it wasn't long before he'd been thrown out with a cuff. He'd moped, then he'd found his own kind, then he'd started a life again.

She hadn't yet told him how she was abandoned. He was curious. It would help for her to tell someone, too; it'd helped him. Wild Pokémon had laughed in his face when he was through with his story - they'd never try to understand a dependence on humans. But at least they'd heard him through. He'd hear Shadowgleam through, without laughing. She should tell him. 

It would do her good. 

v v v 

Touchwood had been trekking along behind Shadowgleam for a while. He was quiet. That was good in a way, but it wasn't a peaceful sort of silence. She could tell that he was just bursting with questions he wanted to ask her, and that wasn't what she'd wanted at all. It was irritating. He kept glancing at her, and when she tried to make eye-contact, looking quickly away. His pace wasn't steady, either. He kept _bouncing_. 

"What?" She finally snapped, in spite of herself, when he'd caught up to her again. That was another annoying thing. She wasn't walking very fast, she was slowing down deliberately so that he could keep up, but he insisted on staying a bit behind her, mostly, although going at the same speed. His version of giving her 'space'. It did the opposite - she felt harried.

"What what?"

"What question is currently sizzling your tongue?"

The Furret glanced sideways and back again. 

"Er..."

She waited. To hurry him up, she snapped her tail against the ground, releasing harmless electricity. He looked at it, looked even more nervous, and fidgeted. 

Shadowgleam had a long tail and a very short temper. 

"GO AHEAD AND ASK!"

"I thought it would... maybe be a good idea... if you would talk about how you were abandoned?"

"That's a human idea. All this stupid get-it-off-your-chest stuff. What I want to do is walk. I want to cover the ground. But if you can't keep your mouth shut, why don't you tell me about your sad story?"

Ow - that was possibly too harsh. He'd really asked for it, though.

Touchwood, predictably, winced. 

But, healthily for him, he immediately began.

v v v 

"I was a very low level when I was captured," Touchwood said. The story, as always, was fresh in his mind. "I'm not sure where I was - some forest near a town. I was part of a small tribe. I got captured the usual way."

Shadowgleam nodded. Her sparks died a bit. He gestured that they should keep walking as they talked, and she looked approving. 

She strode on, tail swaying over her shoulders, as he continued, "My trainer wanted to evolve me, but it took a while. She was pretty cheap. She fed us as little as she could without starving us - a little more when we won battles for her. She started to feed me more when she realised that, although I was at the right level, I couldn't evolve. The others were a little jealous.

"She was pretty disappointed when I evolved - I wasn't much stronger. What she did do was load me up with HMs - Cut, Strength, and Surf. 

"But HMs are renewable - she could always use them on another Pokémon - and I lost my usefulness to her. I started acting weak in battle, trying to save my strength for things like cutting, but my claws got dull and I couldn't do that either." He looked the picture of health now, and he watched her notice that. 

"Anyway, I finally got weak enough that I was abandoned. My trainer must have had a spasm of guilt when she left me - she un-registered me, then she gave me a couple of days' food and walked away from me.

"I was pretty stupid though. I trailed her for a day or two, using up the food, then I came back begging for more. She hit me that time when she threw me out. She would've had one of her Pokémon faint me, but they didn't want to. They had honour. And like me - they were trying to save their strength."

He finished his story. "I moped for a little while, then I found a tribe of my own species. I was useful to them because of my HMs. That's how I've been living."

He looked at her. Shadowgleam wasn't mad now. He must have said the right thing. But maybe he should leave the therapy stuff alone for now. He'd been getting on her nerves - taking things too quickly. He'd let her simmer for now. He did want to help.

Shadowgleam looked at him, gave him a quick, respectful nod, and they continued, walking in a more companionable quiet.

v v v 

What Shadowgleam was thinking - _I wonder if they all do it like that. With some food supplies. If they all walk away._

Gavin wasn't like that. Gavin was nice. He took good care of me and he actually loved me - but I can picture him, putting my food down, tossing my Pokéball up the hill. And walking away...

Miss Black Dragon: Hey, now that you mention it, that's true… no Pokédolls… how strange. Well - hope you still like Shadowgleam after this chapter! XD

Lightning-Strike: Humour shall be attempted. Remember I'm not very good at it. **sigh**


	4. Outlook

Disclaimer: Pokémon is copyrighted by Nintendo, Game Freak, Warner Bros, and Wizards of the Coast. I in no way claim rights to Pokémon; this fic is a non-money-making venture for free distribution on the Web. 

Dedication: This fic is for Lightning-Strike. Lightning-Strike is a talented, cool author here, whose user id is 141533. This is her Christmas fic, especially for her! ^!^ Merry Christmas, L-S!

A/N: All Pokémon speech is translated, unless otherwise indicated. Review thank-yous at the end of the chapter.

****

Light of a Dark Black Night

4: Outlook

"Can I ask a question?"

Shadowgleam looked warily at him. "Go ahead."

"Where'd you get your name?"

Shadowgleam relaxed. "My trainer." Touchwood gave her a careful look. 

"What's it supposed to mean?"

"Well - like a Light from the Shadows. I'm dark coloured, and I'm electric, so that's it. There's a line of poetry - _a light from the shadows shall spring_."

"Theatrical," said Touchwood, flicking an ear.

"Yes. But quite elegant."

They looked at each other and grinned. These were human words. They were using a lot of them. A wild Pokémon would probably despise them for using human idiom and vocabulary, but once trained, it was difficult to get rid of the language. And Shadowgleam enjoyed using it.

Touchwood was teaching Shadowgleam how to forage. He found a kind of grass with edible roots - "This one's good because you can find it almost anywhere, but it won't last you long. Low-energy food. You can never get enough of it to fill you up, but when you're starving, it'll keep you alive. And you never need to carry it with you."

Shadowgleam nodded, stuffing a few thin white roots into her Pokéchow container, which she still carried. "Can you find any fruit around here?"

Touchwood shook his head. "Unlikely. Berry trees, yes, they'll pop up occasionally, but if there's fruit then the nearest tribe will probably put a territorial claim on it."

"Oh." Shadowgleam had no idea whether it was the right season for them, but she was starting to long for tomatoes.

"What level are you, Touchwood?"

"I can't remember. I think twenty-four."

"So you wouldn't know Slam?"

"No."

"Well, that's all right. I could teach you."

"What? I'm not high enough in levels!"

"That doesn't matter. You just have to learn right."

"Shadowgleam, that's completely wrong!"

"No it isn't. How do you think I learned Light Screen?"

Touchwood gaped at her. Shadowgleam grinned.

v v v 

A little while later, Touchwood was very tired. Shadowgleam was running - no, dancing - rings around him, showing him the move over and over again. He thought that maybe he was starting to get the trick of it, but Shadowgleam's idea of 'learning right' was rather… strenuous. 

"Let me rest, Shadowgleam. You show me _your_ routine." 

Shadowgleam, although she'd been using up a lot more energy than him, looked only too happy to oblige. She immediately started a series of feints, exercises, and controlled electric bursts. After ten minutes of non-stop activity, she stopped in front of him, grinning, and panting just a little. 

"That's my general one," she said. "I do that at least every morning."

"You like battling," Touchwood said. 

"I love it!" Shadowgleam said. Perhaps she trusted him more, because she added, "I won tournaments for Gavin. My last battle, I won a really big one. You haven't _seen_ what I can do."

"You really are a Shining, aren't you?" 

"Yep!" 

v v v 

Shadowgleam smiled a little, and let herself remember those tournaments. 

She would have won at Indigo for Gavin. 

She imagined it... Icy Wind and the Dark attacks gave her advantage over her elemental enemies. She had agility to make up for her speed, and with all that flexibility, she was _agile_... 

__

Why'd he get rid of me? How will he win without me? How can he not know what he missed?

But...

Another image. Gavin... on the other side of the field this time. As another trainer's final champion, she would dazzle on the field, defeating whomever he sent against her - they wouldn't be her teammates any more. She would make great leaps in the air... she would dodge and leap so that the other Pokémon never touched her with anything... she would remind them all that she was the greatest. On the field, showing off, not doing it _for_ him anymore... but to remind him of what he could never, ever have back again. 

She could see it...

But it was a useless dream. How easy would it be to find a trainer whose goal was to enter _this_ year's Indigo League Tournament? And how would she tell before she was captured? Once captured, it would be hard to get away again... There were too many _if_s in this idea.

Revenge was overrated anyway. She didn't have to _show_ Gavin anything. Gavin could think what he wanted, feel what he wanted. She didn't care. 

__

Oh, Shadowgleam, that was a nice big stupid lie.

v v v 

"Are you okay?" Touchwood asked, watching her expression drift and then turn bitter. 

"Yeah," said Shadowgleam, "just imagining stuff." She turned back to the path.

Touchwood would have liked to rest for a _little_ while longer, especially since he'd been trying to defy his levels and learn a powerful move for the last hour or so, but he trudged on after her.

The fatigue began to make him short tempered.

"Where are you going, Shadowgleam?"

"Do you think I know?"

"Okay. How about this question - when are you going to stop?"

"I told you you could come with me if you wanted to wander. We're wandering. _You_ can stop."

"Why don't you let us go at _my_ pace? I can't keep this up, and you're pretty dumb if you're going to drop me already. You need me, you know. Thin-rooted grass won't last you for long after your Pokéchow runs out."

"I don't need anyone!" Shadowgleam snarled at him. 

Ah, really. He looked sceptically at her.

"Would you save your breath?" Shadowgleam retorted. "I want to wander. You can come along. You seem perfectly happy to do so. So come."

"You're going to stop sometime," he prodded.

"I'll think about that when I want to stop," Shadowgleam said, whipping her tail around, releasing great bolts of electricity. The area around them became a small electric storm. 

"It's not fair," Touchwood said obstinately, "you using electricity like that. It's because you know I couldn't fight you, so this gives you an easy way of intimidating me."

"Well, if I thought I could argue you into actually SHUTTING UP, maybe I'd try it," said Shadowgleam, obviously trying to make her voice sound more reasonable.

And then she looked at him and laughed, and he joined in.

v v v 

She kept a slower pace for the rest of the day. Occasionally, she got restless, and when that happened she took huge detours to the side, occasionally appearing on the path again after going way out to the side.

They weren't really following a path, though - Shadowgleam would see something, like a small hill or a valley or an interesting tree, and point towards it; once they got there, they'd go somewhere else. Shadowgleam continuously checked her internal compass to make sure that they weren't going in circles. They were zig-zagging, sure, but they were travelling. 

She forced herself to think about the future.

Touchwood was right, and although she didn't _need_ to think about how she was eventually going to live, she would soon… so that question nagged at her. 

It just… depressed her to think of a wild Pokémon's life. Eating. Sleeping. Mating. Travelling around in a tribe. Raising kids. It sounded boring and hard, mostly.

She'd loved battling so much… it was her talent! She was Shining, she was strong, she knew Ice and Dark-type attacks, she was nimble, she was powerful… the arena had become her home, in some ways. _Stupid Gavin took me away from all that._

What was she going to do out in the wilderness? Right now, she was travelling through the most remote areas in Johto, which suited her fine… for now. Later? Did she always want to travel? No… but what?

"Don't nag me," she told Touchwood wearily, when he glanced at her after a long, pre-occupied silence, "I'm thinking about the future."

He actually looked pleased. _Annoying tagalong,_ she thought, almost affectionately.

Lightning-Strike: I know I've posted this chapter without waiting for feedback; if you want ANY CHANGES to be made, _I will make them_. I hope that's all right. 


	5. Glimmer

Disclaimer: Pokémon is copyrighted by Nintendo, Game Freak, Warner Bros, and Wizards of the Coast. I in no way claim rights to Pokémon; this fic is a non-money-making venture for free distribution on the Web. 

Dedication: This fic is for Lightning-Strike. Lightning-Strike is a talented, cool author here, whose user id is 141533. This is her Christmas fic, especially for her! ^!^ Merry Christmas, L-S!

A/N: All Pokémon speech is translated, unless otherwise indicated. Review thank-yous at the end of the chapter.

****

Light of a Dark Black Night

5: Glimmer

__

Great, now_ what did I say,_ thought Touchwood, a few days later, watching Shadowgleam wearily, as with a globe of power crackling around her, she tore away, on all fours, faster than he could move even in short panic-bursts.

__

She is way too touchy. 

Maybe he should stop asking her what she was going to do when she stopped. Maybe she wasn't ever going to stop. Maybe she was just a restless spirit who actually enjoyed travelling. 

Maybe he should just ask himself when he was going to stop. This wasn't the kind of life he liked. 

But Touchwood continued on after Shadowgleam, at least for now.

She might not know it, but there was a lake ahead. Maybe when she got there, she'd stop, at least briefly. It was evening now. 

v v v 

Shadowgleam ran. 

She loved running.

She wasn't actually especially mad at Touchwood. But by the way he'd been carrying on, she'd known she was going to be, soon, and so had decided to get away from him, and at the same time, do something she liked, instead.

So she ran. 

Maybe if she ran off more often, he'd get the message. 

She considered that for a bit, jumping over tree-roots. What with the survival skills he'd been teaching her, she could probably do fine on her own, now. It didn't seem fair, however, to part ways with him without giving him something back. Like the move Slam, for example. She needed to teach him that properly. 

She dimmed the electricity crackling around her, just a little bit, so that from a distance, she knew she must look like a will-o'-the-wisp, darting through the trees. 

There was a new scent up ahead. Shadowgleam began to slow down. 

__

It's a lake! She slowed down completely.

Now that she was close, she could hear the water, lapping against the land as if drinking itself.

v v v 

Shadowgleam walked the last steps to the edge of a cliff; it wasn't too high, maybe the height of a human house, but seemed to be sheer. As she'd run, the darkness had fallen around her, and now it was late evening.

Splashing sounds came from below her - they weren't caused by the waters. She came to the edge of the cliff, anchoring herself to a rock with her tail, and looked down, and could make out a large figure in the gloom.

She was about to call down, when the Pokémon called up to her. 

"Watch out! The cliff is slippery there." It was an Ampharos.

"I'm safe," Shadowgleam said. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, perfectly, except that I can't get out."

"I can swim - I'll come down and help you."

"I can swim too. I just can't see my way up the cliff in the dark."

"I'll light it for you," said Shadowgleam. Putting down her burdens, she backed away, then turned around and dangled her tail down the precipice. By concentrating, she got it to emit a steady, clear glow.

"Thank you."

A few minutes later, the Ampharos scrambled up. "That's better," she said, shaking the water from her coat all over Shadowgleam. Not that Shadowgleam minded. 

"What's your name?" she asked. "I'm Shadowgleam."

"I'm Glimmer."

The Ampharos raised her right paw, and extended a tendril of electrc power. Startled, Shadowgleam looked behind her, almost expecting someone to tell her what to do. Angry at herself, she turned back to Glimmer and tried to copy her - reaching out a small, wavering lightningbolt herself. It was difficult. Gently, as if guiding a small Pokémon, Glimmer reached out her spark to touch Shadowgleam's, and made them both glow. 

__

Friends, said Glimmer, through the connection. She cut her own electricity. Confused, Shadowgleam kept up her sparks for a moment before letting them die back too. 

"I don't understand…"

"You helped me. Don't you know about this bonding?"

"No…" Shadowgleam was even more confused. This was a wild-Pokémon thing, something she'd never learned. And she was very angry to think that, just for a moment, she'd shown how dependent she was_. Dammit it was as if I was expecting Touchwood to tell me what to do! _

Dependence wasn't a good idea. Dependence on Touchwood would never let her be free again, and dependence on Gavin…

__

Gavin let go of me.

...I have a problem with dependence.

Touchwood always picked the wrong moment to show up.

"There you are!" he cried.

"Here I am!" Shadowgleam replied sarcastically. "Right here, next to a large landmark, easy to find."

"What's wrong?"

"What is it that's wrong?" Glimmer asked bewilderedly, looking from one to the other.

"Never mind," Shadowgleam muttered. She felt angry and confused. She had to escape. "See you later."

She turned and walked off the cliff.

v v v 

"Shadowgleam!"

"Calm down," the Ampharos said mildly, "she's not hurt."

"How do you know?" Touchwood asked.

The sounds of the first splash had died away and now there was a small one - Shadowgleam, apparently, coming back to the surface. 

"That was deliberate," she called up. "I'll be back."

"Thanks for easing my mind."

The Ampharos looked curiously at him. "I'm Glimmer," she said. "Is that how humans talk?"

"Those are the words they use, yes," said Touchwood. "We were both abandoned. Except she can't get over it."

"Humans! You are trying to help her?"

"I don't know," said Touchwood. "That is, I'd like to help, but I don't think I'm helping."

Glimmer looked sympathetically at him. Shadowgleam had left the Pokéchow here - he offered some to the Ampharos, and ate a bit himself. "Travelling with her is a good change," he added, to fill up the silence. "It's been a while since I could use human-like speech."

Glimmer didn't say anything; she walked over to a tall rock and curled up beside it. Touchwood, too, decided to sleep.

v v v 

He woke up later. The moon was a crescent and the stars were out, and between him and the cliff was a dark silhouette. 

"Pretty, aren't they?" he said, referring to the stars.

"They're beautiful. But - whatever you're going to say about look-at-all-the-beauty-of-nature-and-isn't-it-nice-here-and-aren't-we-lucky, don't say it. Save the moralising."

"What if I wasn't going to say that?" asked Touchwood.

Silence.

"Okay, Shadowgleam, you can decide whether I was going to or not. But how about this. You put together what you thought I was going to say, and ask yourself if it actually makes any sense, or if it might actually help. And I'll keep quiet."

"I'm sorry, Touchwood. You're right."

"They are beautiful," she added, after a long pause.

"They're magnificent."

Pause. 

"Look, if you try really hard, you can see a Furret... there."

He snorted. _Whatever you say._

"Go to sleep sometime, Shadowgleam. The stars'll always be there."

"See you in the morning."

v v v 

__

Always, thought Shadowgleam, staring up at the stars, not really seeing any formation, or any particular sparkle. _Something that'll always be there._

It was a peaceful, comforting, reassuring thought.

v v v 

Behind them, Glimmer stirred, and looked up at the galaxies. Perhaps they're right. They are ordinary, the same night after night, but sometimes, ordinary things are also marvels. 

v v v 

"Where are we going next?" asked Glimmer next morning.

"We?" said Touchwood, confused.

"Is this because of that spark-joining thing you did with me?" Shadowgleam asked.

"What else?" said Glimmer. "You're travelling, and I would like to come. There are no Ampharos tribes in this area."

Touchwood didn't mind. Shadowgleam looked unhappy, but tucked it away. "The mountains!" she declared. She looked at Touchwood as if expecting a reaction. 

"Whatever you like, Shadowgleam," declared Touchwood, who had been expecting this. "You're the wanderer."

"Shadowgleam Wanderer," repeated Shadowgleam. She grinned. 

"Let's go."

v v v 

They crossed the lake, with a lot of friendly splashing, and continued on. Glimmer was fascinated by their tales of life with humans, and asked them all kinds of strange questions.

It wasn't too hard for Shadowgleam to answer these questions. Except that Touchwood would always try and make them more specific to her and Gavin, forcing her to remember the old days. 

She explained clothing to Glimmer, and then fended off a question about 'what kind of clothes did your trainer wear'. 

"By the way," she countered, "how did you get your name?"

"It was for luck!" Touchwood explained. "Literally, 'touch wood'! The humans have an expression," he explained to Glimmer, "you 'touch wood' to prevent bad things happening, or to give yourself good luck."

"That's nice," Glimmer agreed. 

"Who were the other Pokémon in your team?" Shadowgleam asked. Oh, maybe that wasn't such a good question. He'd probably ask it back.

"Well.. there was a Noctowl, a Croconaw, a Bellsprout, a Krabby, and a Rattata."

"Any good fighters?"

He gave her a strange look. "What a human way of asking."

"You are rather like a human," Glimmer put in. "I have just noticed it. Your training must have made you think a little like one."

Shadowgleam was taken aback. 

"Is that even possible?" she asked.

"Of course," said Glimmer. "I know. My daughter was captured."

Both Shadowgleam and Touchwood turned to look at her.

"I met her in battle later. She called me wild. It took her a while to recognise me."

"What happened... did you faint?"

"No... she did. Perhaps she learned something."

Shadowgleam looked thoughtfully at Glimmer, who didn't seem sad or hurt. Perhaps that Ampharos daughter had been happy. Perhaps she'd adapted herself... _become_ happy, because she'd had to be. It all depended on the trainer. They were different… well…

__

I always thought that Gavin was different too.

Lightning-Strike: The usual I-will-change-ANYTHING disclaimer applies.

Miss Black Dragon: Gee are you a faithful reviewer or what. Thanks hugely. I'm glad you liked it, and Shadowgleam, and Touchwood WILL eventually learn Slam. Hehehehehehh….

Pikacar/Marle: Oh, what a lot of lovely reviews! I think I thanked you by email, but thanks again for your interested comments. Romance? I don't think so… *squizzes carefully at characters*… well, you know characters… hope they don't decide to fall in love without telling me… 


	6. Questions Return

Disclaimer: Pokémon is copyrighted by Nintendo, Game Freak, Warner Bros, and Wizards of the Coast. I in no way claim rights to Pokémon; this fic is a non-money-making venture for free distribution on the Web. 

Dedication: This fic is for Lightning-Strike. Lightning-Strike is a talented, cool author here, whose user id is 141533. This is her Christmas fic, especially for her! ^!^ Merry Christmas, L-S!

A/N: All Pokémon speech is translated, unless otherwise indicated. Review thank-yous at the end of the chapter.

****

Light of a Dark Black Night

6: Questions Return

However, try as Shadowgleam might, she couldn't deflect all the questions that Touchwood so cleverly asked. 

"Well... my team," she mused. "Fearow, Golem, Lanturn, Dewgong, Eevee. We worked pretty well together."

"How do you mean?" Glimmer asked. 

"Well... we all liked each other. We all got along. Fearow... she was good, a good fighter... She had the nickname FarReaches, or Far. She always used to use her Drill Peck on me." Shadowgleam rubbed her shoulder at the memory...

"Golem was steady... a strategist... Lanturn... nice guy... he was very nice. Obliging. He wanted to return to the sea someday. Dewgong... ColdCrystal... my friend. The Eevee..." She laughed. How long had it been since she'd laughed. "I think I did more work training that furball than Gavin did! She certainly paid attention to me!"

"What, like you're trying to train _me_?" Touchwood said. 

"I'm only teaching you one move. I was coaching Breeze on _everything_. Dependent little Eevee brat. But, speaking of which..."

She used that as an excuse to give Touchwood another training session. 

v v v 

This time, she refused to let him off until he'd actually learnedSlam. Glimmer watched with respect as Touchwood got the hang of the technique, and used it, to good effect, on Shadowgleam. 

"_R...aahh_," gasped Shadowgleam, as she was winded. "Okay, that'll do."

"Sure!" said Touchwood. Shadowgleam realised that he'd only winded her to make her stop. She cuffed him good-naturedly. 

"On the road again!" she cried. She sprang up and took to the path. And it was a path here; not a human one, but one pressed in by wild Pokémon. The grass of the trail was thinner and wilted. Not that there was much grass here; vines and creepers abounded. It was a darker area of the forest. With her dark fur, Shadowgleam felt at home. Glimmer, however, kindled her tail globe and kept it going, faintly illuminating them, to make up for the lost daylight. 

The conversation moved on to food. With Glimmer sharing, the last of the Pokéchow had been used up, and they were relying fully on what they could find. 

"I thought you said that bulb-thing liked shade," Shadowgleam said to Touchwood. "Why isn't it growing here?"

Names were one way in which the Pokémon language was weak. It depended on gestures and body language, intonation and cadence, instead of actual vocalisations, but even so, a word in Raichu language wasn't the same as one in Furret. And names - especially those that didn't have real meanings - were hard to carry across. Shadowgleam tried to mimic Touchwood's cadence and posture when he said his name for the 'bulb-thing', but knew that this couldn't be the proper Raichu name for the thing. But even so, she knew she'd get there eventually, by trying out variations and seeing which one fit best.

It wasn't surprising that wild Pokémon usually had a smaller vocabulary than trained Pokémon. And of course, crude pictures were (rarely) used, but there was no written language. Even the Alakazam, as far as Shadowgleam knew, didn't have a script. 

Touchwood replied with a detailed explanation of soil types and competition for nutrients on the ground level... sounding like a human horticulturist, or ecologist, or something. Shadowgleam was amused. 

"You know so much about these plants, you should grow them," she said. "You wouldn't need to be a nomad. You could have your own little market garden."

"What's a market garden?"

"Forget it. I just mean a garden."

She hadn't even really needed to say that. Touchwood was fascinated by the idea. As the path got steeper, the vegetation a little sparser, and they made their way up a small peak, Touchwood hung behind. He muttered to himself and his tail swung gently back and forth. When they found something edible, he started to collect the seeds, and used the empty Pokéchow container to hold them. 

"Do you mind?" he asked absently, taking it from her.

"Not as long as you carry it."

Shadowgleam had expected to enjoy the respite from Touchwood's questions, but instead, in the silence, they filled her head. She began to feel restless. She looked up at the path, judging the distance to the top of the mountain. "Let's go faster."

It was such a still day. Nothing seemed to move... they were deep into summer, and the scattered white clouds above them had nothing to do with rain. When they walked on the dust and it puffed up, it never went very high. There was nothing around. Shadowgleam was beginning to get a view across the forest, and in the distance, there was a glitter where she knew the lake to be. Shadowgleam's restlessness picked her up and set her down again, still on the path, not having got anywhere - or at least, that was how she felt. 

"Come on!" she cried.

Random thoughts of Gavin filled her mind. She took small comfort in the thought that, coming from someone who had known him well, they would be like small itches in the back of his mind. She remembered images - losing the Rainbow Badge at the first attempt, walking away with only one Pokémon in her Pokéball - the defeated Fearow. Learning Light Screen. Gavin, at a phone booth, calling home as he did every month, doing his best to stop his father worrying about him - and failing, unable to sleep that night because of the distant anxious thoughts. 

Gavin, storming out of the little Extra-Sensory Association clinic, tossing a hundred-Pokéyen note behind him. Shadowgleam herself had been at his heels, and she remembered what she'd been doing - looking everywhere but at Gavin, trying to temporarily erase him from his mind and concentrate on something else and remove her voice from the many in his mind. 

Rage was temporarily replaced by pity. 

__

I wonder how he thought he could ever become a Pokémon Master? He'd be a celebrity! It damaged his performance last time, when the Indigo Tournament was televised... and that was before_ he strengthened his awareness! But he liked to win. He liked to be a winner._

Perhaps his quest to be a master had been, in some way, defiance of his curse. Perhaps he'd wanted to succeed in spite of the voices in his head. 

__

I wonder if he could ever have done it.

Shadowgleam still felt restless. Pity turned to contempt and anger for Gavin, pursuing a useless dream, motivating his Pokémon towards something that _they _might achieve but that he, as their trainer, couldn't. 

"If he released me," she remarked suddenly, "he might have released others. I hope he didn't release Breeze. She wouldn't have survived on her own."

"You never know," Touchwood's voice drifted up - his words were a little harder to pick out because she couldn't see him - "she might have found a friend, like you did."

"You've got us, Shadowgleam," agreed Glimmer. 

Shadowgleam nodded, but had to get away from them again. 

__

Damn you Gavin.

Unexpectedly, she fell onto all fours and ran up the rest of the path - there wasn't much left - to the top. Such a view, but she couldn't see it.

__

You selfish idiot, Gavin!

Touchwood came up to the little ridgetop. She almost wanted to shock him if he came any closer, but he didn't. He did something else instead. "Take that, Sheila!" he yelled, picking up a small rock and tossing it over where the peak was sheerest. "_Take that!_"

Shadowgleam laughed!

She picked up a bigger rock, and heaved it over the edge. "TAKE _that, _GAVIN!" she roared. 

"That's it!" said Touchwood approvingly. He picked up another rock. "Come on!"

But she couldn't. 

She looked at Touchwood, and Glimmer (just now appearing up the path) and out across the mountains. "I don't want to let go," she realised aloud. "I want to know _why_."

She screamed across the mountains. "_WHY?"_

Lightning-Strike: The usual I-will-change-ANYTHING disclaimer applies.

Miss Black Dragon: Oooh look, Touchwood learned Slam. Finally. Now I'll have to figure out how he uses it for the good of the story. I'm very glad that you like the star-gazing bit - I was afraid that I was becoming trite in that area. 

Pikacar/Marle: *nods fervently, gives characters stern looks* Behave! Of course, they will then reply that they answer to my Muses, not to me. But hey. I do what I can. Now that the basic, required trio has been set up, I won't be introducing any more travelling companions… for now. But I'm glad that you like Glimmer. 

Carter Tachikawa: I'm glad you like it. 


	7. Penance

Dedication: This fic is for Lightning-Strike. Lightning-Strike is a talented, cool author here, whose user id is 141533. This is her Christmas fic, especially for her! ^!^ Merry Christmas, L-S!

A/N: All Pokémon speech is translated, unless otherwise indicated. Review thank-yous at the end of the chapter.

****

Light of a Dark Black Night

7: Penance

__

Away!

No, not you, Shadowgleam. I'm sorry. I thought - thought

- you and the photo in the paper - I put them together... I tossed **you**_ away - and I can't get rid of _**them**...

__

I'm away... where humans don't go. Here I am. Pokégods I'm confused, I hurt inside, it's as if all that aching in my mind is spreading over my body...

You won that tournament and they took a picture, of you, of me, and they put it somewhere in the Pokémon Times which... it distributes all over the country

is 'distributes' the right word?

You'll be all right Shadowgleam - so far, you have been, I'd know because I can feel your thoughts stabbing at me now and then, I want to block you out but I don't want to, I want to know that you're all right (doesn't make up for it though). 

I wonder how long the food I left will last you? I'm sure you found it... you must have found it.

It hurts Shadowgleam, I'm taking painkillers, I thought... the pain... was something you got used to, something it was possible to build up a resistance to - they put my picture in the paper in an article too, I couldn't block that out.

and for a little while I was fine, I can handle being in a stadium with an audience - spectators I mean - and that was my largest crowd of spectators yet and I handled them fine - 

after all, it helps if you can **see**_ the people who are thinking about you. Then they took my picture. And I was going to sleep in the next morning but when the first people started reading the paper, reading me, it woke me up... they thought 'the boy with the Raichu' and other things, but I was absolutely crazy, it was cacophony in my brain it hurt so much._

I was walking into tables it was more than I could deal with. I took painkillers, I shut it down - from a roar - I went... rode FarReaches, dropped everything off, I returned FarReaches while I was setting it up... she would have stopped me, now I wish she had... no, I didn't **walk**_ away, Shadowgleam, you sent me that picture clearly, but no, I got on Far and let her fly me into the wilderness_

I know I've got enough painkillers, I don't know if I've got enough of everything else, but I think my supplies will last me... for a while... don't know how long I need it to be - maybe Forever. 

Pokégods, forever, a hermit I guess I'll be. I think... I could almost live with that... well I might just have to. I can survive... I think I can... ther's a water souce here, and five angry Pokémon - but they're beginning to calm down -

I left you, I know I left you, I know you're all right, I know that doesn't make up for it, because I might have Abandoned you - **abandoned you**_ - even if I'd thought you couldn't survive, but you can, you're Shining, you're strong, you used to like me, you don't now. I can't blame you. _

I think you're all right and I can't take/handle your thoughts, I'm going to have to block you, or try - maybe I could have come and got you, I'm not so sure I could survive doing that - you were closest - and the rest of the team, they've knocked me out twice already, and each time, waking up, feels worse - could I explain to you before you **killed**_ me with your anger, and your feelings of betrayal? You were closest, the others weren't as dear - I could only let myself _**like**_ you so much, Shadowgleam, because you could control your thoughts, you could make yourself _NOT _think about me when you wanted to - some trainer I am._

Some trainer I am, abandoning my bloody **favourite**_, Pokégods I _**am crazy**_, and you're still driving me crazy because your thoughts are hitting me from across the country - wherever you are, wherever I am - and yeah some trainer I am - I'm not a trainer any more. Can't be. I've still got my Pokémon - my _**other**_ Pokémon - more accurately, they've got me, I think I'm more of a problem/burden at the moment than a solution - a team member - and gods, bloody hell, I realised it hit me almost worse than these thought wounds, it was a bloody useless dream. I can't be a master, can't be anything, can't handle these answers either; bloody... ATWINATS my sister used to say, it stood for All The Words I'm Not Allowed To Say - little sister - and I can't tell her voice, can't pick her voice out from the multitude - it's like _**erosion**... _what kind of _**human**_ am I when I can't bear their thoughts?_

the Pokémon - they're here, they're trying, (they're failing) not to think of me, but they forgive me, if they hadn't they'd probably have killed me, by thinking, now the soothing thoughts almost help...

I wish you'd forgive me, you keep spiking me striking me with your thoughts, but I'm afraid of trying to trail you, afraid of getting close to you and it probably wouldn't help - heck I wish you'd get me out of your mind, I wish I could explain - oh, **why**_? You ask across my mind - is - do you want to know - sure, sure, except you can't hear me, not the way I hear _**everyone**_... in a few days I'll probably be feeling better - hope so, anyway! Pokégods! - when people stop reading that article and forget about that Mahogany tournament in Mahogany - and I've ruined it all and somewhere, you're out there, sorry so sorry Shadowgleam, screaming but I can't answer, can't you bloody _**forgive**me? can't you find your own answer WHY?

Everyone: Don't hate me now… *dodges things* Well, if you've managed to struggle through that chapter so well, I'm sure you must have had a reason… don't hate me now… I really did need to bring Gavin back. Protest and I just might change it. 


	8. The Mountain Path

Dedication: This fic is for Lightning-Strike. Lightning-Strike is a talented, cool author here, whose user id is 141533. This is her Christmas fic, especially for her! ^!^ Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, L-S!

A/N: All Pokémon speech is translated, unless otherwise indicated. Review thank-yous at the end of the chapter.

****

Light of a Dark Black Night

8: The Mountain Path

"Why...."

Shadowgleam sat there at the top of the mountain, very still, listening to her echoes, and listening to something even after the echoes had died away. 

Touchwood was glad she wasn't looking at him, because for a moment, he couldn't conceal the triumph on his face. It was there because, _finally_, she had stopped trying to deny... well, everything, really. 

But Glimmer looked worried. Perhaps she had a point. Perhaps this new attitude of Shadowgleam's wasn't any healthier. _He_ thought it was. 

"How am I ever going to know?" Shadowgleam asked them, turning around with a pleading expression. "I want an answer and I don't see how I'm going to get it!"

Glimmer looked at the ground. Then she spoke, slowly. "Well... Shadowgleam, I am not sure, but I may know of a Pokémon who could help you."

v v v 

"You were trained... so do you know about the Pokémon Gods?"

"Of course," said Shadowgleam, thinking back on them. She gave their more formal titles. "The Winged Mountain-Trio, the Three Land-Rangers, Lugia Ocean-Song, Mew the Ancient, Ho-oh the Greater Phoenix, Celebi Protector of the Forest."

"You haven't missed any, as far as I know," Touchwood told her. 

"But, lately, there has come an eleventh," said Glimmer. "His domain is Mt Cayna and I think that he may find your answer."

This wasn't what Shadowgleam had been expecting. She was terrified. The Legendaries were unapproachable... yet surely a wild Pokémon like Glimmer wouldn't stray outside the boundaries of respect. But from what she had heard of the Legendaries... they were creatures of Balance, and they killed as well as saved. 

__

But what would a Pokémon God not know?

"Let's go, then," she said boldly, forcing her tail to be calm and stop lashing, even at its tip. "What is this God's name?"

"Mewtwo," replied Glimmer, frowning. "I say that you should be careful. He is as powerful as any of the others."

"How do you know about him?" Touchwood asked her, rocking forward on his hind paws. "My tribe has never heard of this "Mewtwo."

"We are closer to Mt Cayna here," replied Glimmer, and Shadowgleam, watching her closely, wondered if she was hiding something. "His legend spreads out, although he tries to keep his existence a secret."

__

She knows rather a lot, thought Shadowgleam. 

"Well, why not lead us there?" she asked aloud. 

v v v 

They went at Glimmer's pace, and Glimmer's pace (by Shadowgleam's standards) was slow. Shadowgleam shadow-boxed. She capered across the road. She told Touchwood all about her memories, mostly about important battles. Glimmer led sedately on. She broke away from the path and led them in quite a straight line, calling on her own electric powers to feel the world's magnetic field and to straighten her path. Shadowgleam approved. 

Night came, and Glimmer refused to keep on going. She told Shadowgleam to think about the favour she was going to ask. 

"Simple," said Shadowgleam honestly. "I want to know why I was abandoned."

"You need to think about how you are going to say it, then," advised Glimmer. "Remember that Mewtwo has no love for humans. Thus he makes his home as far away from them as he can..."

__

When I was first abandoned, thought Shadowgleam, _I swore I would never be one of those poor champions who followed their trainer after they were abandoned. Is that how Mewtwo will see me?_

I will be very careful indeed.

I'm not really like that. I just want to know. I liked Gavin. He really was a good trainer - I believe that! There has to be a reason, and I want to know it!

I am not a weakling. I am not pitiful. I couldn't fight a Legendary, if that's what Mewtwo really is, but I bet I could take on any of his followers! If he has them.

I must show him that I am a fighter. That's my skill, that's my defense. I can take care of myself, and that's not what I need his help for. 

I only have a question. 

Wouldn't it be easy_ for a _Pokémon God_ to give me the answer?_

If I could understand at all, I wouldn't be doing this.

There was no reason. I can't think of any possible one.

But there must have been, because Gavin did_ abandon me. _

I need to know why. 

Before I do anything else, make any plans, decide anything about how I'm going to live, I have to know why! 

v v v 

When the other two woke, Shadowgleam was training.

"Good," remarked Glimmer. "Perhaps she truly heard what I said about Mewtwo."

Touchwood would have stayed back, but Shadowgleam dragged him into the exercise. It was a battle that wasn't quite mock, and Touchwood merely confirmed to himself that he had no chance against Shadowgleam. 

He tried to use Cut but she wasn't there. Instead, he was Thunderbolted. He used Strength, knowing he wasn't going to hit; used Slam, doomed to failure, and when his temper was well and truly lost, used a combination Strength/Slam that actually succeeded in knocking his Raichu opponent over. 

She scrambled up immediately. "Good!" she said. "Good combo! It won't work twice!"

"That's enough, Shadowgleam," said Touchwood sourly, walking away. Shadowgleam looked disappointed. She drooped. 

"Fight with yourself," he concluded. "That's what you were doing anyway."

Glimmer frowned at this statement. "We will reach the slopes of Mt Cayna this afternoon," she said, "and then we will climb it. You will probably want to save your energy, Shadowgleam, because I suspect that there may be another challenge at the top."

v v v 

They went on. They stayed in a close group, helping each other over obstacles, as Glimmer's straight path often proved to be the toughest one. 

They were mostly quiet, especially Shadowgleam. Occasionally, Glimmer would offer some kind of information about Mt Cayna, and Touchwood would make a nervous reply. 

__

Although I don't know what's making him _nervous, _Shadowgleam thought edgily. _He has no favour to ask of Mewtwo._

They saw more and more other Pokémon as they continued to walk - evidence that this area was, indeed, mostly free from the dominance of humans. Most ignored the trio completely, as travellers who would pass them by. The aggressive ones were first met by Glimmer and Touchwood's diplomacy, and those who refused courtesy, Shadowgleam fought. It was a microcosm of the way that nomad tribes worked. 

Ampharos, Raichu and Furret were all nomadic species in the wild.

The sun hung in the middle of the sky when Mt Cayna began to loom in front of them. 

"We have to climb that?" Touchwood asked. 

"Yes. But there _is_ a way up through the mountain itself, one that Mewtwo's strange Pokémon use." 

"Is it a good idea to use it?"

Glimmer considered. "Even if we could find it... probably not."

Touchwood looked indignant.

"Remember, they value their privacy," Shadowgleam told him.

v v v 

From the bottom of a woody slope, they soon looked down at the canyon. They couldn't see the source of its waters, but on the other side of the deep-flowing river was the side of the mountain itself. It rose up a long, long way. But it wasn't too steep to climb, nor were its sides especially sheer. 

"We're not too high above the water," Glimmer said grimly, "so we can dive in from this point. Shadowgleam, you can swim, and Touchwood, you'll use your Surf to help get us all across."

Shadowgleam looked at her and wondered. This was a huge mountain. How were they going to climb it, even at full strength? Surely they couldn't manage it in a day... and were there enough nooks and jutting-out flat areas to rest while climbing? How far could they get without stopping?

"Don't worry, Shadowgleam," said Glimmer. "You got me up one cliff face, I can get you up another. Here's how we'll climb it," she began....

"We're going to have to do this _very very quickly_. If this works, we'll almost fly up the mountain. Shadowgleam, you will have to use the Friend Bond to transfer some of your Agility to me as you use it, because I am the slowest. I will help to bear us upwards by using my Cotton Spore. And Touchwood will use Strength, of course."

"Why not use your Cotton Spore to get us across the river, then?"

"Because we'd be vulnerable to the wind while we were in mid-air. We might drift along the river or even back to this side. The winds here change quickly."

"Okay..." said Touchwood. He put his box of seeds down on the ground. "I guess we'll be back," he murmured, then used Defense Curl three times, as the other two stood looking up at the mountain. He finished, and turned to Shadowgleam.

"When are you going to say 'let's go'? I'm waiting."

Shadowgleam grinned at him, and simply dived over into the water. 

v v v 

The water was cold, but after the first shock, it felt warm. Shadowgleam accidentally swallowed some of it, and felt _power_ flow into her from the river. The water was so pure that she felt insulated, her electric powers restricted. This water would hardly conduct an electric current. 

Touchwood's generated wave washed them over to the river's other bank... rock that simply went up. Glimmer caught hold first, and was first up out of the water... Touchwood's fading Surf move flung him up, and high and dry. Shadowgleam heaved herself out of the water, and as soon as she had a firm grip on the rock, closed her eyes to put herself into the state of hypermobility and hyper-alertness that was Agility. 

When she opened her eyes again, she could almost _see_ the river's energy still tingling on their wet fur. A warm breeze took hold of them... Cotton Spore... and Shadowgleam felt even lighter. "Give me some of your Agility," Glimmer commanded, and reached out a tendril made of light. Shadowgleam did nothing; Glimmer took strength for herself, and Shadowgleam saw it take effect, in Glimmer's eyes. 

"Let's go," Shadowgleam told Touchwood, grinning.

v v v 

It was the most exhilirating thing Shadowgleam had ever done. At first Glimmer's Cotton Spore power flickered... at times, Shadowgleam felt her weight increase as though a weight had just wrapped itself around its neck... at other times, she felt so light that she almost floated away from the mountain side. She didn't, but Touchwood did. Shadowgleam grabbed him from the air and shoved him to where he could get a grip. All this was while they were shooting upwards, moving as if running at high speeds over a horizontal surface. 

Touchwood led, using his Strength to enlarge paw-holds as he went, so that Glimmer, who came last, could trust her greater size to them. Shadowgleam kept to the middle. Occasionally, Glimmer reached out a spark and _pulled_ power from her, and she had to watch herself when that happened. All three of them glowed with electricity. 

A rhythm quickly developed. Touchwood, the pathfinder, swarmed up the rock, punching and kicking holes into the rock when he needed to. Shadowgleam followed, never looking up, sending sparks of power to Touchwood when she dared. (It was a lot more difficult to send _helpful_ energy to him than it was to send it to Glimmer. She learned how). At regular intervals, Glimmer would pull energy from Shadowgleam, and Shadowgleam would use a Quick Attack to make up for the loss of strength. In that tiny pause, in which they all slowed down a little, Touchwood would look up and correct their direction. 

All of them slipped at times. None fell; all caught themselves. Each paw-hold blurred by. 

Shadowgleam was the one who kept it all together. Her tail tip generally rested on Glimmer's shoulder; through it, she could feel her friend, and lend a little magnetic power when she stumbled. She began to worry about Touchwood's endurance, and at one point when the rhythm was strong, just after Glimmer had drained power from her, she experimented with a Double Team attack, sending her images into Touchwood and transferring their energy into him. It gave her a faint link. He screamed _thanks_ - she knew it - but they couldn't hear each other. 

It had worked, but she had limits, and she didn't use Double Team twice.

She saw nothing but the rock face, and in her mind's eye, Touchwood and Glimmer. 

Touchwood at first almost didn't see the top of the mountain, but when he did, he slowed down so that Shadowgleam 'ran' into him. She snatched her paw away from his tail before it caused him to fall off the mountain. Then she looked up, for the first time, and saw the precipice too.

A moment later she sparked Touchwood in warning, and electrically spoke to Glimmer: _Stop using Cotton Spore. We're almost there._

But that brought them the closest to death that they'd yet been. Touchwood and Shadowgleam felt as if they had suddenly _sunk_, and scrabbled at the rock face in panic. Two of Touchwood's pawholds crumbled under the suddenly increased weight. Glimmer was all right - she was used to her Cotton Spore's effects. Shadowgleam leapt - it was only a few feet - and gained the top of the cliff. Touchwood was still clinging there, paralysed with fear, with only his right paw and foot on solid rock. She offered him her tail, and he grabbed it - painfully - and pulled himself up, shaking. Glimmer took a while to find secure pawholds, but she didn't take long to join them at the edge.

One one side of them was the cliff edge they'd climbed. On the other was a dry slope.. further down it was grass, and then a forest. _A forest on top of a mountain. _ It seemed odd...

"We can't stop, we have to keep moving," whispered Glimmer, "as long as our strength holds. When we drop our attacks we're going to faint... and when we wake up..."

She keeled over. 

Shadowgleam would have moved to her side, but she couldn't move. She forced herself to fall sideways only by an effort that caused her muscles to scream, and that was all...

To all readers: Yes, I know that that's a rather odd and improbable way to climb a mountain. I hope you've managed to suspend disbelief.

Carter Tachikawa: It's good that you continue to like it. 

Miss Black Dragon: Confusing? Definitely. I hope you've read Ch. 6 by now… :P

Lightning-Strike: Heheheh.. MORE! LOTS MORE!


	9. Recovery

Dedication: This fic is for Lightning-Strike. Lightning-Strike is a talented, cool author here, whose user id is 141533. This is her Christmas fic, especially for her! ^!^ Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, L-S!

A/N: All Pokémon speech is translated, unless otherwise indicated. Review thank-yous at the end of the chapter.

****

Light of a Dark Black Night

9: Recovery

When Shadowgleam woke up, it took her a while to realise that she was awake, and after that, it took her a while to force herself to _act_ as if she were awake and in control of her body.

It began with standing up. She rolled herself over onto her front, being cautious, and tried to gather her back paws under her. She had a momentary, disorienting feeling in which she felt as if her legs were moving ever so slightly, smoothly... and then realised that they weren't moving at all. She looked down and her back twinged. Finally she raised herself to a standing position. 

Then she squealed, and fell over backwards like Gavin's teddy bear into the cool grass. 

She didn't want to think because her head hurt too much - _No, that's stupid, I can't stop myself thinking... Headache. I'd say migraine. Agility is classified as a Psychic-type attack because its effects originate from and affect the brain, like a drug that makes one 'hyper', so to speak, with mental alertness in the bargain, with no side effects or after-effects or backlash. To recreate this effect by synthesising a chemical has been the challenge of human scientists for many years._

Gavin had often read to them from his textbooks. 

__

Why do I care, anyway?

She repeated the standing-up procedure, with the same effect. The next time, she stayed on her back paws - although she was swaying. She kept herself there. She looked straight ahead... the trees were darkening, it was nearly nightfall. She tried to accustom herself to seeing double. 

Everything _ached! _Everything throbbed, everything was stiff or tender. Her tail was the only thing that felt all right... except when electricity began to flow through the numb limb again. She squealed again, feeling like a Pichu... unable to use her own electricity without fainting herself. 

Evolution... ah, _that_ was the way to think of it. As if she'd just evolved into Raichu, and was learning how to move again. 

Few Pokémon who evolved during a battle were actually _advantaged_ by the change, whatever the urban myths said. It took time to adjust to an evolved form. 

But this was harder. 

She heard a croak from behind her and tried to turn around. It was Touchwood, she realised, as she fell over. She sighed - a raspy sigh - and lifted herself to her feet again. 

"Glimmer _will_ apologise," groaned Touchwood. He moved a few steps forward, not even trying to get up off all fours. 

"Easy does it," said Shadowgleam carefully. "At least we're here."

Touchwood grimaced. 

"I'm here too," said Glimmer, gettting to her feet slowly behind Touchwood. "That was... quite a journey."

"Furr-"

"I'm sorry." Glimmer said, cutting him off. "Now we need to reach the lake." 

"There's a lake up here?"

"It is the source of the river we crossed."

The way to the lake was painful. Shadowgleam, Touchwood and Glimmer staggered through the forest, leaning on each other, going very slowly, and stopping often. 

"Look!" Touchwood gasped, pointing up. It was a pear tree. One of the pears was quite close to the ground, but leaping up to get it wasn't an option for any of them. 

"I'll try to get it," Shadowgleam answered. She was beginning to recover, and testing herself. She looked at the branch, narrowed her eyes, and tried to aim a Faint Attack at the pear's stem. 

To her astonishment, nothing happened. 

Shadowgleam was extremely confused. She knew the laws of attacks. Some were more difficult to use, some were less; anyway, after you had used an attack after a certain number of times, or around that number, something clicked between your brain and your muscles (or whatever) and you stopped being able to use that move. 

She would have understood if Agility had failed, or one of her lighter electric attacks. But a Dark attack shouldn't be affected... it was a whole different skill. Its 'power points' shouldn't have dropped at all - she was alert, and could _control_ her Faint Attack. 

Intriguing. Icy Wind? No... she might have just been glaring at that pear stem. 

She sighed, and reached up with her tail instead. She hooked the pear with her jagged 'axe', and pulled it down far enough for Glimmer to bite the stem. 

Glimmer handed the pear to Touchwood. "You seem to need it most," she said. Touchwood took it gratefully, and gave her a friendly nod. _Good... _Glimmer seemed to be forgiven. 

They continued slowly, as Shadowgleam wondered. She hadn't used a Dark attack all day. But, come to think about it, she had certainly overused Agility and Quick Attack. Was it possible that _dark_ energy had powered those attacks? Could the PP of one attack be loaned to another? _I've never heard of anything like that!_

They walked. 

It was fully night now, black. Shadowgleam, Glimmer and Touchwood could use nothing but their limited night-vision to help them through the forest, as Touchwood was able to use Flash about as effectively as Shadowgleam could use Dark attacks right then. 

Fortunately, the lake wasn't far, and after a while, they came to its shore, where the stars glittered off its rippling surface. The moon was an unhelpful crescent. 

"Come on, Touchwood," said Shadowgleam, as Touchwood lingered behind the other two. 

"Just think how _cold_ it'll be." 

Glimmer laughed. "It won't be as bad as you think. Come on in."

She stepped into the water, and sighed. Then she grinned, and far more quickly than Shadowgleam would have expected, she turned around and splashed the Furret in his face. 

"AAH!" Touchwood bounded forward, furious. Then he stopped. "Hey! I can _move_ again!"

He jumped in gleefully and Shadowgleam followed. This water carried more power even than the river, for all that it was mostly still. It recharged every fibre of her. She felt _evolved_. 

"Once, Mewtwo removed this whole vast lake," said Glimmer quietly. "He hid it in the caverns of the mountain... but when the trees above and around Mt Cayna began to fall, he realised that he had been wrong... the secret of life is a circle which you must not break. And so he brought the waters back."

After floating in the lake for a little while longer, they went back to shore and curled up to sleep under a tree. 

v v v 

Again, when Glimmer woke up, Shadowgleam was training. Glimmer watched carefully, and noticed a difference. This was not a routine, and had nothing to do with fitness. The Raichu was not so much _exercising_ herself as she was testing herself, choreographing old and new moves, with an expression of deep concentration.

Some of the things she was doing were extremely... fancy.

Glimmer caught her breath as Shadowgleam crouched, placed the end of her tail carefully on the ground behind her, leaned back a little, and used her tail as a spring to send herself up, and several metres along the shore. She landed on the sand with very little noise. She dropped a twig on the ground and ran back to her original position... and on the way, still running, she shot a lightning-bolt at the twig she had let fall. It hit the twig's tip. Shadowgleam spun around, looked at the twig critically, and cocked her head to the side. She repeated the exercise. This time, the twig briefly burst into flames. 

"Amazing!" said Touchwood, behind Glimmer. 

"Ssh. Don't disturb her," said the Ampharos. 

"It'll encourage her!" He stepped forward and called out. "Shadowgleam! Show off for us!"

Shadowgleam turned to him and laughed. "Be a good audience, Touchwood!" she said, and turned back towards the lake. 

v v v 

She executed her best tricks for him. She activated Light Screen in the middle of a leap... she flipped over sideways and backwards and somersaulted forwards using her tail. She sent frost across the top of the lake water in a narrow pattern... she reflected a Dark attack off the water. She never repeated a trick. She gave the best show she could for Touchwood, her friend. 

__

These are my friends. I don't regret meeting them, I like them, I know them. I know them well enough, anyway. 

This isn't a bad life... We eat all right. Glimmer and Touchwood are expert foragers, but even I could keep myself going on what I can find. 

What I'm missing is one answer. 

Even if I don't like the answer...

even then, when I have my answer, I'll have everything. 

v v v 

She anticipated Glimmer's suggestion and stopped before the Ampharos could advise her to rest. 

"Across the lake?" she asked. 

"On that island," Glimmer agreed, "we will find Mewtwo, or at least one of his people, and certainly we will find the way to your answer."

Miss Black Dragon: Thank you! The formal name for Mewtwo? Hmm… I'll have to think of that. 

Pikacar/Marle: Here you go, and the next one should appear soon too! :) 

Lightning-Strike: Yes, it's different ^!^;; 

Carter Tachikawa: Thanks, CT. I'll reply more fully in an email. 


	10. Petition

Dedication: This fic is for Lightning-Strike. Lightning-Strike is a talented, cool author here, whose user id is 141533. This is her Christmas fic, especially for her! ^!^ Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, L-S!

A/N: All Pokémon speech is translated, unless otherwise indicated. Review thank-yous at the end of the chapter.

****

Light of a Dark Black Night

10: Petition

Touchwood and Shadowgleam said it together: "Let's go!"

The swim wasn't hard this time, in the sparkling water. Touchwood used Surf halfway across, and whether the water had especially revitalised him, or whether the lake's power amplified the attack's effect, the three Pokémon were washed across the rest of the distance by Touchwood's single Surf move.

They landed gently on the shore, Touchwood chuckling privately at the ride. Shadowgleam looked around. The island's shore was pebbly, with shelves of bare rock at its edges, trees above. 

They started towards one of these shelves. 

There was a blaze of light - a _flash_, Shadowgleam edited her thinking, _a moving flash._ She made herself remember that moving brightness's direction, and spun around to follow its trajectory. There on a rock, facing them, was a Pikachu, and as she turned towards it, it shocked her, a pain that lasted until Shadowgleam, startled, whipped her tail down and jumped just a little up, so that her tail grounded her.

The assailant's electricity died back and the two electric rodents stared at each other, panting. 

"Go back!" cried the Pikachu. "You have no place here!"

"Our business," said Shadowgleam, "is with Mewtwo." 

If she had hesitated before she spoke the name - well, only Glimmer would catch it. 

This infuriated the Pikachu. "I am his sentry."

"May we pass you?"

"I won't allow you to."

"Oh?" Shadowgleam's tail rose so that its tip pointed over her shoulder, although where it curved it nearly touched the ground. She ignored Touchwood's doubtful look, and Glimmer's frown.

The Pikachu pounced. 

But Shadowgleam had seen that he would, and leapt sideways, her tail flipping over to the opposite shoulder. 

She made the choice to fight, and yet she heeded Glimmer's warning. She dodged and flipped at first, rather than land a blow before one was landed on her. Pity, really - she needed few of the tricks she'd practised, and the Pikachu was no audience, so her choreography was practical, not exceptional. 

But the rising anger in the Pikachu's face scared her.

It turned almost to hate, and before it could, Shadowgleam hit him with Swift and knocked him back twenty feet.

"I am not mocking you," Shadowgleam said. 

"You have no right!" he snarled, picking himself up. _I hit him hard and well._

"No right to what?" she challenged.

"To make your entrance by force!"

"You attacked me."

He rocked back, glaring at her.

"I'm standing sentry... It's my right and my job to keep strangers out."

"Well, what if they fight back, what if they win?"

"They will be defeated by others of us. Do you think we wouldn't defend our home?"

"Did you think I wouldn't defend myself if you leapt at me?"

"You were being rude, Shadowgleam," Touchwood pointed out. 

"So were you," Shadowgleam told the Pikachu. She sighed, and sat down on the rocky shore. 

"You haven't been trained to fight," she said, with a less aggressive tone pattern. "How can you defend the island against others who do know fighting skills?"

"Mewtwo takes care of attacks," the Pikachu said. 

Glimmer was frowning. "Wait," she interrupted. "Before we continue, as visitors to your shore, let us introduce ourselves: I am Glimmer, she is Shadowgleam, and he is Touchwood."

The timing of this confused Shadowgleam, but the Pikachu nodded slightly. 

"You said Mewtwo takes care of attacks?" Shadowgleam continued. "I've heard that he is a powerful Legendary."

The Pikachu nodded. "He created all of us. We are clones as he is, with his taint of human machines but without his taint of humanity. We are his people."

"But he's the only one who fights?" Touchwood continued. Shadowgleam didn't understand the bit about clones, and she suspected that Touchwood hadn't either. 

"We fight for peace," the Pikachu replied, tiny claws curling inwards. "_He_ fights for peace."

"Why don't you train _yourself_ to fight, if you can't?" the Raichu asked.

"For the sake of peace." And Shadowgleam stopped that line of questioning, although she wanted to prove her suspicions that the Pikachu wished he could fight, and was restless under Mewtwo's promise of protection, and had reason to be restless.

The Pikachu's statements were tense, and the others on the beach were tense too. Shadowgleam felt delayed. 

"Why can't we see Mewtwo?" she asked. _No hesitation that time._

"Why do you want to see him?" the Pikachu countered.

"I have a favour to ask," the Raichu replied. 

The Pikachu frowned, and Shadowgleam wondered despairingly if they'd ever get past him. But another Pokémon appeared at the top of the rock. "Meooow," he called to Pikachu, who turned, commanding, "Stay."

v v v

"You almost blundered there," Glimmer said. "These two are Mewtwo's favourites among his people. I wouldn't anger either of them."

"Glimmer, why all this mystery?" Touchwood asked. Of course, it would be Touchwood who raised the issue. "How do you know?"

"My past," said Glimmer, shrugging. "I've been here before."

Mewtwo's lieutenants came back to the group. "Mewtwo will see you today," the Pikachu called. "And welcome again, Glimmer. Now I recognise your name."

v v v

The other two let Shadowgleam go first. The Meowth and Pikachu brought them up the rocks and up a dim stairway, which seemed unusually human-like to Shadowgleam, although it had no hand rails.

They passed caves that resembled rooms - in what seemed to be a strangely natural castle. The stone was smooth, with no jagged or jutting edges, but not very regular - it had bumps and dips in it, and the height of the tunnel varied.

When light began to gleam above them, Shadowgleam knew they were almost at the top, and considered her words. 

And then they reached the top, and went around a corner. And down a step, into a room, a huge room, flooded with daylight from square openings in the stone. Mewtwo waited for them there.

Shadowgleam recognised the Legendary because it was Pokémon instinct to do so. And she also noticed his cool, distant expression, and his odd combination of cat and human - his expression was less mysterious than a Legendary's usually was, for the calculations in his eyes were human. They were slightly narrowed, in a human expression. The human-ness of Mewtwo reminded Shadowgleam of Gavin - and so her first response was of wariness and recognition. 

Mewtwo was a strange creature. He had no real human features, but could not have been a cat. He stood like a human, on long feet, with back legs like those of creatures who need to pounce. His tail was held out to the side. Chin slightly down, he looked at them. He was taller than them, but not much taller than Glimmer. He looked at her. _Have you a lesson to teach me, again?_ he asked, in words composed of meaning, not language, that didn't have an echo, because they didn't have a sound. They rang in Shadowgleam's head.

"My friend would like to learn something from you, Manchild," said Glimmer.

__

That is not a name I prefer. Nor have you the authority to use it, replied Mewtwo. His rebuke was not angry but absent. He turned to the other two. Touchwood pointed, with a timid gesture, to Shadowgleam.

__

State your request, and why I must grant it.

v v v

Shadowgleam stepped forward, letting her tail fall into a position that mirrored the Legendary's. "I have lost a friend," she said carefully, wondering as she did, _Will he hear me call him that?_ "He is a human, and I was separated from him. I would like to know where he is, and the explanation for his actions."

Mewtwo turned away, towards the windows. An uncontrolled spark jumped from one of Shadowgleam's cheek sacs to the other. Mewtwo had given a gesture of rejection.

But Glimmer nudged her, and sparked her, saying in a way that Mewtwo couldn't hear, _Keep talking_.

Shadowgleam continued, trying to explain Gavin and herself. It was stupid to lie to a Legendary but she tried to argue for herself without making herself sound pathetic, or Gavin sound like a Typical Abandoning Human. She wasn't doing very well. Touchwood kept up a kind of running commentary of frowns and nods. 

Mewtwo was a statue, turned towards the clear, bright western sky. 

Then he turned back to them. 

__

It hurts_ him when I think of him,_ he accused, staring at Shadowgleam. She stared back, surprised that he would be angry at her now, unable to look away. 

Lightning-Strike: FINALLY! :) 

Miss Black Dragon: The formal name for Mewtwo is now Manchild. Is that okay? Yes, Gavin has a teddybear. :D 

Pikacar/Marle: Here you go! Have some chocolate, too, and some pens that work. Would you tell me when you update? Now I'm back at school, I find it harder to keep track at ff.net. 

Carter Tachikawa: Well, here's more. Hopefully, even more will follow - soon enough. Hopefully. Congratulations on the work you've been doing on your own stories. Sorry, I haven't given Shadowgleam any answers - but I HAVE given her the opportunity to ask a question.


	11. Reunion

A/N: All Pokémon speech is translated, unless otherwise indicated. Review thank-yous at the end of the chapter.

****

Light of a Dark Black Night

11: Reunion

Shadowgleam was completely surprised. Mewtwo's reaction didn't match the reputation of the Legendaries, who were said to distance themselves from humans and despise such Pokémon as they called 'willing human slaves'. Not that all trained Pokémon fell under this category - but many did. 

But here was Mewtwo, the 'Manchild', turning to her with a judgement, an accusation, on behalf of a human. As if he blamed her for Gavin's pain which, somehow, he felt. 

"Gavin is different," said Shadowgleam. "He has an awareness that he can't control. He hears when people think of him. Their thoughts weigh on him and he can't get rid of the weight." Mewtwo's expression was stony. In defence of herself, fiercely, she finished, "He heard when I cried out to him to come back, and he ignored me."

Glimmer nodded slowly, as if this explained a lot. Mewtwo looked at her. _You have always had advice for me,_ he said, with faint sarcasm. _What is your recommendation now?_

"You could see this boy for yourself," said Glimmer. "I doubt even you would have encountered this power before." 

Mewtwo looked at her, thoughtfully, as though he was saying something just for her. Both smiled, a little cynically. _Unlike other legendaries,_ said Mewtwo, _I mix with humans when I choose - although that is not often. Picture your 'friend', then, Shadowgleam._

Into her head, immediately, came the picture she had summoned when abandoned, the family-style portrait with Shadowgleam at Gavin's side, with Gavin in his full protection gear, with his other Pokémon around him. Gavin still symbolised an instinctive 'home' for Shadowgleam. She hadn't found any other - she had found a journey, and friends, but no home after her Pokéball, which she had electrified until it shattered, because Gavin had thrown it away.

A glimmering blue-blackness rushed towards her from the windows, replacing sunlight. It wrapped around her, pressed her on all sides, and retreated. 

v v v 

And then they were on a little hill, surrounded by trees, with dry-looking grass. Shadowgleam noticed that as well as Mewtwo, and her friends, the Pikachu had come. 

Mewtwo started to walk down the hill, and everyone moved around him. Shadowgleam was happy enough that Mewtwo was setting the pace. If she'd had the choice, she didn't know whether she would have run to where Gavin was, or loitered on the hill for a while. Or held back, and waited for him to come.

He would know they were coming... even so, even though he must already know, she tried to dampen down her thoughts with a crude mental shield. Mewtwo glanced at her. 

"Thank you," Glimmer said to him.

The Legendary turned to her with a quelling look. Glimmer stared back. 

..._I suppose it is your right to thank me_, Mewtwo conceded. 

v v v 

"It is our right," Glimmer concurred. 

__

Even when the thing you thank me for was not done to benefit you, but to benefit me? Mewtwo was speaking privately to her. His voice had a different sound to it, which she recognised quickly. 

__

You're thinking like a human, Mewtwo, Glimmer thought, unable to send her thoughts 'out', but knowing Mewtwo could pick them up from her mind. _It's simpler than that. If you deliberately do something that helps me, I thank you. It doesn't really matter if it helps you too - although I am grateful if I know you have helped me in spite of yourself. This is wrong only when you are lying to me or hiding the benefit to yourself. _

That is a polite code, Mewtwo returned. _But since when did Pokémon thank each other, anyway?_

Pokémon have always had codes of giving honour when it is due, Glimmer mentally replied. 

__

But this is a human way of following those codes.

You may be the unrivalled Pokémon expert on humans, Glimmer retorted, _but you are far from being the only one of us affected or changed by humanity. _

He seemed to sigh, but it was his only answer. 

v v v 

Shadowgleam guessed that they would find Gavin at the bottom of the hill, in a cave. No, not in a cave - he would come out to meet them. 

Touchwood, spontaneously, gave her a quick sideways hug, then fell back. "Rai," she said, trying to laugh a little, for his benefit. 

She tried to shield her thoughts again. If Gavin could hear her thoughts, he would know, generally, what she thought of him. Which was more information than she wanted to give him right now. 

She wanted to see him again. But that didn't mean she wanted to forgive him. 

And then the group came around the corner, and she did see him. Outside a cave. By a tree. 

The other Pokémon were just behind him. 

By that fact, Shadowgleam felt utterly betrayed. She didn't notice that the others had already stopped, as she stumbled to a halt. 

__

So it was only me! Why me? It couldn't have just been your favourite that you dumped! 

"Shadowgleam!" cried Breeze, the stupid furball, as if she couldn't see that the Raichu was upset. 

"It wasn't him!" ColdCrystal cried, rearing up on his flippers, tossing his head in distress. "He wasn't himself!"

Shadowgleam shocked Gavin and ignored the Dewgong. It was a Thunderwave. It froze his despairing expression in place. She'd never seen that expression before. It had always been gone too quickly, even when she'd known it was there. 

__

This is not catharsis, it is rage, said Mewtwo. _You have asked me to explain; I will give you the explanation. _

The Legendary lifted it out of Gavin's mind, and Shadowgleam saw it, a rational progression. _Gavin won a tournament. Gavin had his picture in the paper. Shadowgleam was in the picture too. Minds assaulted Gavin. Shadowgleam had won the tournament for Gavin; Shadowgleam's Shining status had attracted attention; Gavin linked Shadowgleam to this. Gavin was unbalanced _- and Shadowgleam was offered to share, briefly, this craziness, to share and understand and forgive it, but she skimmed it instead. _Gavin tried to get away. Gavin threw Shadowgleam away. Gavin flew away, and was afraid to come back._

Gavin lived crazy, for a few days. The other five Pokémon were shocked. The other five Pokémon forgave. Gavin recovered. Gavin was afraid. Gavin was weak. Gavin stayed. Gavin grieved. 

That is your explanation, Shadowgleam, was Mewtwo's comment on the end.

v v v 

She opened her eyes and saw Mewtwo use Recover on Gavin. Gavin stood up again. 

"Shadowgleam, _please forgive me_," he said, looking pleadingly at her. Direct eye contact. 

__

You know_ what my opinions are, _she thought. _You can't help it. Don't you dare speak them, though!_

"I understand what you did," she said, in her Raichu language that she expected him to understand. She wasn't saying these words completely willingly. She felt as though the others expected her to forgive, especially Mewtwo, who was gazing at her. She could do without their opinions.

Just like that, they were gone. So Mewtwo had been listening to her. 

But without them, she felt more alone. They would have judged her, but Glimmer and Touchwood were still her friends. By herself, Shadowgleam felt threatened, alone with Gavin and the others of the team. Like before. But it couldn't be that way, because things had changed. Important things, to put her on one side of a gap with the other five Pokémon and Gavin on its other side. 

"I missed you," whispered Gavin, speaking to her as if she was the only one who would hear him. She looked at him, but couldn't help seeing the others behind him. 

"I heard you," Gavin continued. "Each time you thought to me."

"You could have come back!" In Raichu speech, of course, but for Gavin the meaning was clear. 

"But I _couldn't_ have, Shadowgleam. You know me."

__

I do know you. Does that tie me to you?

I'm not_ tied to you. Maybe I'll forgive you eventually. I think I will. But that doesn't mean you didn't hurt me. Breaking the bond between Trainer and Pokémon. _

She began to turn away, but saw as she did that tears had started to fall from Gavin's eyes. 

v v v 

Later, Gavin felt Mewtwo's strange strong awareness and looked around to see him standing in the mouth of the cave.

"Who are you?" Gavin asked. "What kind of Pokémon _are_ you?" The creature disconcerted him. Gavin didn't bother trying to hide it, because he knew that the psychic Pokémon would pick his feelings up anyway, and probably ignore them. 

__

I - Mewtwo - was created by humans, Mewtwo said. _I was a genetic experiment. Now I am a Legendary. And I am psychic._

Gavin wondered how any creature so sleek and deft could have been designed by people. Mewtwo was incredible. He was also unnerving, as he towered over Gavin - who was sitting on the ground - and reached out a blue-enfolded paw. 

"What do you want?" Gavin asked, feeling tired. 

__

A trade. I will learn your power from you. And I will give you the ability to shield yourself, so you have control. 

Gavin caught his breath, and then that turned into a yawn, and he fell forward. 

v v v 

Glimmer and the others were leaving Shadowgleam alone, but her old team found her, and cautiously approached her. 

"He didn't tell us what happened to you," Breeze said, "he just felt it. What did happen, Shadowgleam?"

"I felt abandoned," Shadowgleam said, resenting them. "I had _been_ abandoned." 

"We're not trying to tell you anything," Lanturn said, earnestly. "We wanted to listen."

What could she say? 

"Gavin abandoned me," Shadowgleam muttered. 

"He always wanted you back," FarReaches said. "He kept saying that you'd never forgive him, you'd never come back."

"You can't blame me if he was right," Shadowgleam muttered, but although that was fair, she already blamed herself. 

v v v 

Gavin woke up with a feeling of layers around him. His own thoughts seemed isolated, and he sought out someone else's immediately, realising once he found them that he had looked for Shadowgleam's. 

He jumped, reacting to the nearness of those thoughts. Sitting beside him was "his" Raichu. 

"Rai ah-i," Shadowgleam said, and her words took a moment to come through to him because of that veil... _"Hello, Gavin."_

"Shadowgleam -"

__

"I came back, didn't I?" 

"Is it - have you -"

__

"You don't have to promise - I know you won't do that again."

He was starting to smile. 

__

"I wouldn't have come back if I didn't know that," Shadowgleam said. 

"At least you knew it. I obviously didn't." 

She curved her mouth to mimic his huge grin of relief.

__

"The others say you've decided to stay out here." 

"It won't be necessary now. Mewtwo gave me control."

Shadowgleam almost gave him a Raichu laugh. She had thought, _now._

"But I'll be staying out here anyway. It's better. I want to. The others have been finding me foods I can eat, and we haven't been doing too badly. But there won't be any more battles for you, Shadowgleam."

__

"That's okay. I'm going to be living a different way."

He was dismayed again, as he tried to figure out what she meant. 

"_I will stay with you. But from time to time, I will go on journeys. I will wander." _

But, essentially, she had said she would stay. 

"I'm sorry, Shadowgleam."

__

"I've forgiven you."

v v v 

"So what _was_ your motivation?" Glimmer asked Mewtwo, as they stood on a hill. Shadowgleam had gone to talk to Gavin and she saw that Mewtwo knew what the result was. "Your benefit, or ours?"

Mewtwo considered. "Both, I think. And the obligation of a Legendary. And simple human curiosity."

"Manchild," said Glimmer, "I think the humans call that a feline trait."

Uniquely, Mewtwo laughed. 

Lightning-Strike: F I N A L L Y !! But you still get an epilogue. One last chappy. 

Miss Black Dragon: Hi, Spellingfreak, and thanks. :P Well, here you go. Maybe Mewtwo is earning his name. Poor lonely clone. I hope he's represented properly here. 

Pikacar/Marle: Yep, you were right, that WAS what Mewtwo was saying. Remember Gavin's painfully sensitive. But not any more. 

Caygirl: Thanks! I'm honoured… I hope that my writing style stands up to your inspection in my Forum Nation stuff. Anyway, have a… Mountain Dew or something… chocolate?

Carter Tachikawa: Lots of dialogue here! Given the nature of the chapter, I guess there had to be. Thanks for reading and appreciating. And lookie, finally I've given Shadowgleam an answer. But there's still an epilogue to write.

Lobo Kendo: Thank you! Mewtwo's castle is fun to write about - especially if you've watched _The Return of Mewtwo_ too many times. 


	12. Freedom

A/N: All Pokémon speech is translated, unless otherwise indicated. Review thank-yous at the end of the chapter.

****

Light of a Dark Black Night

Epilogue: Freedom

The Gyarados and the Golduck were sparring in the lake, just out from the edge of Mewtwo's island. The sky was dim and darkening - the sun had just set. 

"Yes!" cried Shadowgleam. "That's it!" 

Golduck's screech carried across the water, and Shadowgleam winced. "Go on," she called, and turned away. 

Glimmer was standing there. "He's watching," she commented. Shadowgleam inadvertently glanced up, although she was at the wrong angle to see the observation tower of Mewtwo's stronghold.

The Raichu looked back down, and smiled at what she saw. Some - not all - of Mewtwo's Pokémon were learning to fight. 

"What do you think he sees?" she asked her friend, who lived here now, on the forested rim of the lake. 

"What do you think he should see?" Glimmer countered, turning the question around.

"Not violence," said Shadowgleam. "They're having fun. And if they learn to fight, they won't feel so dependent on Mewtwo. Not that his clones will leave him, though. And if he's afraid for them, he shouldn't be."

She flicked her tail. "He doesn't have to worry. It's time for me to go, anyway."

"By yourself?" asked Glimmer. 

Shadowgleam smiled at her. "Yes. Touchwood wouldn't come with me when I set out this time. He spends all his time working on Gavin's garden. Except that Gavin calls it 'Touchwood's garden' now."

Touchwood and Gavin had come to trust each other quite quickly.

"Shall we see you back this time next year?"

"Of course."

It had become tradition, because Shadowgleam still loved to travel. With the route between Mt Cayna and Gavin's lair established in her mind, she set out each year, spending some time at Mt Cayna, and returning to Gavin in two months or so. 

She always set out, and always returned. 

It was nothing to do with Gavin, really. It was to do with her. 

This was the second such pilgrimage she had made since her abandonment quest. In that time, Gavin had become used to living in the wild, Touchwood had come to live near Gavin, and Glimmer had returned to Mt Cayna, where, occasionally, other Ampharos paid a visit. 

Shadowgleam had begun training Mewtwo's Pokémon. 

The Pikachu, who had named himself Strike, was the most adept of them, and probably the one who most wanted to learn. The most restless one. 

He came up to her as she turned away from Glimmer. "Are you leaving tomorrow?"

"I've been here long enough."

"But I haven't finished learning Swift!"

"I have to go," Shadowgleam told him firmly. His cheek-sacs buzzed a little. She had to grin.

"You could come with me," she suggested, amused. "You could travel with me for a little while."

Strike stared at her, and considered this. "I will!" he said. 

She grinned again, caught up in his enthusiasm. "We can go tonight," she said. "I like to start my journeys at night. It's fun, travelling in the dark, relying on your own light..."

The Pikachu nodded. 

They said their goodbyes quickly, and quick goodbyes were all that were needed, because everyone knew they'd be back. They took the gradual path down through Mt Cayna, and once out into the forest, took turns to lead and to provide light. 

Shadowgleam thought, _I've got a friend to travel with again. And mock-fight with. _

Just the same as last time. 

She loved her life of travelling and staying with Gavin and travelling again. Home and the journey, well mixed. She stayed 'home' for most of the time, but when she wanted to, she could wander. 

All her friends were fine and so was she. She was free.

She and Strike set off through their own light, in the intensely black night. 

And for the reviewers…

Lightning-Strike: F I N A L L Y !! 

Miss Black Dragon: I don't think I'll set Mewtwo's reasons out, because I'm not entirely sure about them myself. Remember he's a rather mixed-up legendary. But he takes the status of 'Legendary' seriously.

Pikacar/Marle: CS-ing is quite fun. Are you going to be posting any more Beginning's End any time soon?

Carter Tachikawa: There you go, lots of happy endings. :) I think everyone's provided for nicely. 

Book Worm: Oh, thank you! Well, here you go. I'd better check out what you've been doing lately. 


End file.
